The following is a fable, but like all fables it contains hidden (and not so hidden) truths.
Yes, for the first, and undoubtedly last time in the world, you can own a house on a World Heritage Site. Only in Ottawa, the world's "Developers Rule Capital" ©Development Ottawa Promotion Establishment (DOPE), could this be possible.
Killing Nature Limited (KNL) , in conjunction with UrbanDesolation Inc. and RichCrap Homes announces the construction of the first stage of houses in it's new Paradise Lost World Heritage Subdivision.
Located on the site of what used to be known as the Beaver Pond Woods this subdivision represents the new wave of natural destruction in urban development. Whether your home is on Blasted to Bits Drive, ClearCut Avenue, Extinction Way or Sacred Land Road you can be assured of the same quality Ticky Tacky that our homes are renowned for.
As an added feature each home comes with a Grand Forest Room that has, in place of a picture window, a forest mural. This feature is ideal for educating your children in the wilderness features that were once where your house stood. You can teach your children the names of all the plants, animals and endangered species that were sacrificed to build your home.
Each home comes with it's own Certificate of Destruction listing all the natural features and wildlife that were destroyed so you could have your own home where splendour and wonder once stood. You will also receive your own piece of the forest, a bag of wood chips from the trees that once stood here, to use in your garden.
For a limited time those visiting our sales offices on Walden Pond Dies Drive will be able to try some of our Forest Stew - there is nothing like stewed porcupine after it has been shaken out of it's tree and frozen to death - it's like Ice Wine, a real delicacy.
Most people do nothing about the wasted and undeveloped wilderness that covers much of our county. By buying a home in Paradise Lost you can help to reduce that waste and advance progress.
Remember by buying a home in Paradise Lost you pave the way for the destruction of even more forest and wildlife in what has come to be known as Our Community's Great Forest and World Heritage Site.